13 September 2014

I have to constantly remind myself what it means for God to be my constant companion and audience. Even my wife will not always be at my side, but God is. He delights in me and He takes pride in me. But He also hurts to see me stray, to see me get embroiled with the world and all the “politics” of everyday living. At times, i take the people i am with as my only audience and when i am alone, i forget there is still my Lord who never takes His eyes off me. I am the apple of His eye, He never sleeps and never lets a moment pass without knowing me. Will i be thrilled or fearful? Will i delight in delighting Him with my ways or will i take delight in delighting those around me only? There is a famous song called the heart of worship. It begins with the line “When the music fades, and all is stripped away, and I simply come. Longing just to be, something that’s of worth, that will bless Your heart.”

I think this captures exactly what one of my biggest tendency is – to get caught up in the music of dancing to the beat of those around me and the world – i forget i am dancing for God. If only i truly dance for God, there will be no emptiness when the music fades, but only a sense of joyful anticipation and rejoicing.

Lord Jesus, I want to dance for you when no one is looking, i want to dance for you even when people are looking, i want to dance for you when the music plays and when the music stops. Thank you for keeping your eyes on me, thank you for never leaving me.

12 September 2014

A friend once asked me – “how is it that Christians can simply ask God for forgiveness after they have made a mistake, and then expect God to wipe the slate clean for them to start all over again?”

It was a good question. One of the most basic, but nonetheless one of the most central question about Jesus and the Christian faith. To this day, i still do not fully comprehend in my heart how this can be true. There is no doubt, the bible warns that if we continue to sin, it may be a sign that we have not truly put our faith in Christ. But i also know that Christians falter and still sin, although there is always a transformative element in a person’s life once they have accepted Jesus.

The thing is, we do not and should not “expect” mercy and grace, but God is a merciful God who responds to true repentance. True repentance is both the will of an individual and the will of the Holy Spirit – a collaboration of two wills to conform to a single godly decision and action. I am glad that we do have a merciful God. I am glad that there is a place and a person whom i can seek ultimate forgiveness, refuge and redemption in. The world is not so kind and may not give second chances, but my God is kind and He is merciful. He knows true repentance when He sees it. It’s an awful feeling when we do something or say something that we can never take back. We wish we could go back in time and fix everything, start again, change our ways. But we will never be able to do so. We cannot change the past, but God does not dwell in the past. God invites us into the future and into the present to have a relationship with Him. A relationship that has dealt with the past and is ready to move on. A relationship with the power to redeem, renew and transform living realities. This is my God. My awesome God.

Lord God, this is who you are. You are the Beginning and the End. My Lord and Saviour. With You, all is well, all is well with my soul.

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