21 January 2014
If i was honest with myself, i sometimes feel like i have done a really good job in keeping up with my spiritual discipline and track record with God. It may be based legitimately on many things i had been doing right and although i warn myself not to get too complacent, it is inevitable that i would become complacent. I would stop searching my heart deeply and be less aware of the flaws and weaknesses that are forming. i can’t seem them because i am too concerned with my track record. My eye is on my previous achievements and not on my destination. It sometimes takes a lash of anger, a slip of the tongue or a lapse in judgement to give me a warning something is not quite right. But then again, i sometimes miss those signs as well.
Jesus said, “Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commands and teaches people to do so will be called least in the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:19.
I sometimes am so occupied patting myself on the back for keeping all of the other commandments, i downplay and ignore that i am breaking another because it just seems so “small” to me at the time. But i think Jesus was warning me precisely that relaxing the “smallest” commandment was a warning sign – and an even bigger warning sign if i could think that it was ok because it was a small sin. The problem is, i believe the “small” sins are precisely were i might give the devil a foothold. And it almost feels like i am letting the enemy come in through the backdoor because i am busy guarding the front door. i realise i need to guard my heart and soul in every area – especially the “small” or less significant areas.
Father, i need to bring everything, totally everything that is unwell in me, my moods, my frustrations, my thoughts and my beating heart, under your complete dominion. Father, i don’t want to ever take the small things i do wrong complacently, but rather, i want You to shed Your light into the areas in my life where i need your grace and power to transform and renew. I pray that you give me every morning and throughout every day hereon, a contrite heart and a heart that is tender and pliable to You to reveal and renew day after day.